knowing

this movie had the potential to be fantastic. i was seriously diggin the plot right up until they motherfucking introduced homo aliens called the whisper people. it really turned it into a steven king-esque movie and i fucking hate steven king movies. most of them are anus.

as such this is a very mediocre movie. i feel like labelling it shit but the start had me impressed.

also nicholas cage fucking suck ass. he ruins everything. fag.

race to witch mountain

more like race to anus mountain. as soon as i realised the rock was the main character i knew i was in for some horrendous viewing.

the kids voices are so fucking annoying. like given the kids are aliens, and have superior mind skills to humans, why haven't they learnt to speak normally? they can read minds, move objects with their minds yet they speak like retards. i would rather have stared at a blank sheet of paper for 90 mins.

madagascar 2

lame.

they

this is a very average horror. admittedly towards the end there were infrequent minor scares but that was it. most of the time i was mesmerised by the main character. she literally looks like an alien. she is mega tall with the longest neck i have ever seen. i was just waiting for her to peel of her face and reveal some kind of hideous extraterrestrial. it didn't happen to my dismay.

it wasn't a horrible film, but i would never ever watch it again. the ending was horrible however. the dvd contained an alternate ending which was way better so maybe the accidently put the wrong ending in. i don't really care either way.

idiocracy

the title of this movie is fitting. not only in reference to the content but also to the writers.

people told me this movie was hilarious so i had my expectations quite high and was unfortunately disappointed. not impressed with this movie at all. maybe because it had luke wilson in it. i hate luke wilson, i dislike his face.

to be fair it was funny in parts. stupid people are always funny.

marley and me

owen wilson plays the part he always plays. a whiny douche bag.

the story is about the jennifer aniston and owen wilson in a relationship and the accompanying stresses and strains with buying a dog that turns out to be an untrained menace.

it irritated me the entire film that the dog was so poorly trained. i mean for fucks sake its not that hard. you just dont let the dog become the master of the house which it clearly became in this movie, running round knocking shit over, taking a shit on the couch, eating phones, dominating wilson.

very average movie.

spoiler alert - the dog dies.

evan almighty

evan is almighty lame.

tres mediocre and corny in parts/all of it. its not an atrocious movie, the only atrocious thing is that secretary bitch who only speaks in one-liners that are painfully unfunny. i liked that morgan freeman played god. he is a god. also steve carell plays the psychotic type very well. children would laugh at his material sometimes.

yes man

no man. don't see this.

jimmy carey clutching at straws trying to revive his career. this is pretty much liar liar, just instead of being unable to lie, he is unable to say no. luckily you can.

oustandingly average. not a bad watch if the weather is so bad you literally cannot leave the house, all your books and other dvds have been destroyed along with any board/card games, all tv channels are fucked and your ipod/computer is broken.

the promotion

this movie was exceedingly mediocre.

if i had known that nothing at all would happen in this film i perhaps would have just watched traffic outside my window for 80 minutes. when you think seann william scott and john c. reilly, you think comedy.

no.

the only funny thing in this movie is when reilly drops a ship-in-a-bottle. this is one of those movies you watch once, then won't remember for the rest of your life.

very average.